Growing Our Family

The Paper Pregnancy

2010-04-04T21:06:00.002-04:00

We are at it again!!! We have started the journey toward a baby sister for Isaac. We will be returning to South Korea for our next bundle of joy. We have a rough estimate of about 2 years from now till we would be able to travel to bring our daughter home. We call this stage The Paper Pregnancy! Basically, we begin collected a ton of paperwork (financial statements, background checks, medical statements, contracts, etc., etc.). This will be used to start us on the road to being matched with a social worker who will conduct a homestudy, roughly a 6 month process. After the homestudy is completed, we will wait while our paperwork head to Korea to be put on the wait list for a baby girl. It will take a bit longer to be matched to a girl in Korea as there are more boys available than girls. It is also taking much longer to get travel approval than it did for Isaac's adoption. Unfortunately, this means that our baby girl will likely be 12-14 months old when we arrive in Korea to bring her home. I am praying that this changes as the older the children are, the harder it is for them to transition, but we will take whatever God provides to us as this is every bit His journey for us as it is for ourselves.

I am grateful that I have Isaac's love and joy to fill my heart while we wait for our second child. I am hoping this will make it a bit easier than waiting for the first one. This day marks the day that Jesus made it possible for all of us to be grafted into the family of God through adoption. I feel so blessed to have Him as my Daddy.

Finally Getting Around to Updating!

2009-09-14T10:10:00.006-04:00

Hello all,
Well, it's been nearly 4 months since our bundle of laughs came home to us. I admit, I am such a hiprocrite. I always check adoption blogs after people come home to see the continuing story and so many people do not update after the arrival. I am sadly one of those people or I was. I do want to continue our story for those interested and even if no one is, it will be something Isaac can read when he gets older.

Isaac has almost completely caught up in his motor development in the last four months. He is crawling and sitting himself up, moving all over the place and making progress toward walking very soon I expect. He is gaining weight well, weighing in at 22 pounds and is 31 inches tall. He looks much more lanky now than the short little potato of a baby that came home to us. Looking much more like a toddler. He eats everything I give him pretty much! He loves my food best which of course pumps up my ego a bit. He definately prefers it over baby food, but who doesn't?

He is at the moment eating a chocolate chip pancake and a couple strips of bacon, two of mommy's favorite things. Of course, they are terrible for you, so they are a rarety and a treat. We are in the process of weining him from the bottle and he is taking to sippy cups pretty well during the day. If you have any comments on sippy cups that worked best for your kids, I'm open to suggestions.

He has visited all of our friends and relatives or they have visited him. He loves people and especially other children. I can barely get a babysitter to take money from me because they like sitting him so much. He makes everyone laugh and is just such a laid back little guy. Here are some more current photos of our Munchkin!

An anniversary surprise for Meichell

2009-06-30T16:34:00.004-04:00

This is just a quick look at the seven years we've been together ... I admit our newest cast member does play a small role in the second act.

Enjoy.

Isaac with Various Friends and Family

2009-06-10T16:51:00.001-04:00

The New Video and the Blessing Translated

2009-05-20T21:43:00.003-04:00

We were so preoccupied with the Gotcha Day moment that we forgot to ask for the direct translation of the prayer Dr. Kim gave when we left. Thanks to my AKC friends, it is in the comments for the previous post! It is such a sweet prayer and worth a read for sure!

Here is the latest Worthing Music Video :-)! Don't forget to pause the auto music player on the blog so you can hear the song on the video.

Finally a moment to catch you up on the happenings of the 3 Worthing's!

2009-05-20T15:10:00.009-04:00

We were in the lodge lobby at 7:20 am to be handed our little Isaac for his official "Gotcha Day" on May 15th (14th our time). He was a bit sleepy and his foster mom was significantly more teary. I felt so bad for her that it made me cry. Then I was reminded that God brought us on this journey to give a child a home, a permanent one. He had a lovely home with his foster mom and she took exceptional care of him, but it couldn't be permanent. The agency in Korea is a Christian agency, so they hold a prayer/blessing ceremony for all exiting little ones. Isaac was happily chewing (biting) by finger while we all bowed our heads and he was prayed for by the director in Korean. I'm sure it was a blessing along the lines of God watch over this little one in his new family, help him to adjust, to obey his parents, to not drink or smoke, to not give us a hard time as a teenager, and to take care of us when we are old. The director told the family's the day before that this is what her father (93 year old) who started the program many, many years ago would say to the babies as they were leaving. We got in the van, his foster mother said her final tearful goodbye and bravely handed him to me. On the van trip to the airport he cooed and played with another baby heading out, then promptly fell asleep in my arms. Not a single tear. I don't believe that this is because he didn't miss his foster mom, but because she had done such a good job over the time she has had him making him feel safe and then making him feel safe with us. There will be crowns in heaven for her some day. She also made sure to point out that she was a Christian and would be praying for Isaac his whole life. She was relieved to find that we shared her beliefs and would also be praying for him his whole life, loving him as Christ loves us.

We had 4, count them 4 plane rides to get home. I thought for sure, we would have a screaming baby to console. I'm sorry to inform you mom but your curse of wanting me to have a child just like me seems to have not taken root. He's a totally laid back baby. He cried some and there were many times I or Nate had to hold him, walk with him, play with him, make goofy faces at him to keep him occupied, but he took that trip like a champ.

We arrived home at ORF in Norfolk, VA to be greeted by our Meiming, Deepergroup, and other close friends/family. Isaac was giggling the whole way down the concourse as mommy held him out facing the group. Then as they all cheered, he smiled, then burst into tears (LOL). Poor guy, ya'll scared him :-)! He recovered fairly quickly though and cooed for many of the group, particularly the other children. He is a VERY social little guy and curious, which helps with the reduction of fear. We all had a good laugh at the anxious daddy who when asked to hold the baby by my friend Janice (old enough to be our mom), Nate said "be careful." As if Janice would be anything but. That just goes to show the quick parent bond that had already occurred. We worked hard to bring this little guy home, we just have to now keep him generally safe for the next 18 years!

The first night home was rough as Isaac's schedule was totally off. He didn't sleep much that night or the following few nights. We've worked for the past couple of days at limiting his nap time and keeping him up so he can get on our schedule and we can all get more sleep. I was worried about Nate going back to work last night as Isaac is very taken with his daddy. But, he slept on and off with only a couple of bottle feedings the whole night for his momma. We had also figured out that he did not know how to turn himself over in his sleep, so he would wake up balling cause he got his arm stuck, We have, thus, been working this kid out, building muscles, rolling, and crawling skills like crazy. This also helps wear him out for better sleep.

We've had many feedings (he loves food), eats anything! Even when he makes a funny face at me like I'm not sure I like this, he still eats it. Sorry mom, he's not a picky eater like your daughter was either. All in all, there just aren't words to say how in love with this little boy we are. Everything he does is funny and he loves to make us laugh. He also thinks the cat is hilarious for just existing. She, on the other hand, is curious, but definitely stand-offish. She is very happy when he goes to bed at night and she can curl up on mommy's lap. I expect they'll be fast friends before we know it. I am including pictures of the various new parenting moment's and Nate has a new video he'll be posting as soon as he puts the music to it he wants.

An update and Prayer Requests

2009-05-14T02:10:00.002-04:00

Hello all,
We had a pretty good second meeting with Isaac. He has a cold with a fever, so please pray for him and us that we can minister to his physical and emotional needs. We have plenty of meds and the foster mom will be giving us the meds she has been using over the last week. Also pray for our travel throughout the process, because they will likely be really worried about him having Swine Flu. Japan is VERY concerned about fevers right now and I'm not sure what the US will do when we come in. We could get quarantined. I will update about our days more later. We have a couple more things to see and shop for before we head home tomorrow.
Love you All!!
Chell and Nate

2009-05-12T06:11:00.006-04:00

Today I (Meichell) woke up again at 6 am! I swear this is some sort of record of early rising for me. Nate and I got ready for the next most important day of our lives, meeting our son Isaac Tae-Min. We got all gussied up, including curling my hair so it would be pretty, as if Isaac would care what my hair looks like. We went out for breakfast in the South Korean rain, so much for the nice hair :-)! We came back to the guesthouse where we anxiously awaited our turn to meet with the social worker and then finally meet Isaac! He was absolutely every bit of cuteness and sweetness as shown in his early pictures. He is very healthy, having been taken care of so thoroughly by his foster mom. She gave us a traditional Korean outfit worn by babies on their first birthdays for Isaac's 1st B-day. She also gave us a photo album full of pictures she has collected over the 9 months she has cared for him. She seemed to care for him very much, but was reserved as is Korean custom with us. We were given Isaac's documents and passport! That really helped it feel real and official. Nate put together the video below for everyone's viewing pleasure of Our First Meeting. We will be able to see and play with Isaac again on Thursday. We will then leave with him on Friday, headed home for good. There is a small chance they will allow us to have him early on Thursday for an overnight before we leave on Friday! Please pray that they do. I want more transition for him than just "here's your baby, now go on a 24 hour plane journey with 3 connection cities."

After the meeting, we went out with another set of parents here picking up their daughter for lunch and shopping. I have many pretty things for the ladies in the family. We are still looking for the guys and for more Korean cultural items to keep and give to Isaac throughout the years to come.

Nate and I may try to do some more shopping tonight. We are hoping to make our way out to more rural Korea tomorrow to gather pictures of Isaac's beautiful home land since we do not get to see Isaac tomorrow. We cannot wait to bring him home and introduce him to everyone. He is a delightful baby and could win any heart. He certainly has won ours!

Enjoy!!!!

Nate and Meichell

WE ARE IN KOREA!!!

2009-05-11T18:43:00.002-04:00

Hello friends and family! We are safetly in South Korea. We arrived last night, were picked up by the agency driver along with 2 other very friendly families. Upon arrival we were given a piece of paper that stated we were to meet Isaac the following morning at 10am. In traditional adoption style, the ladies were talking each others ears off, sharing each other's stories, while the men stayed quiet and took it all in. We had dinner with a great couple adopting a little girl about to be a year old. Then got our gifts for the various people in the process together and went to bed.

We are now writing you at 7:50am. We will be going out to grab a bite to eat and then return to meet our Son! We will have pictures for you all tonight as long as all of the computer equipment we have been provided works.

For all of the grandparents, aunts, and uncles, and those friends who are as much a part of our family as anyone, WE ARE MEETING OUR SON FINALLY! We are busting with anticipation.

Nate and Chell

Last Day in Tokyo, Japan

2009-05-10T09:42:00.007-04:00

It was a busy day for our feet! I'm glad I've been working out for awhile because I'd be even more tired than I am from all of the walking we've done the last few days. We toured Tokyo today, getting to watch a parade celebrating a festival starting this week. We made many new friends including some beautiful little ladies that were happy to have us take their picture and pose in a picture with us. The gold lion the behind us the girls carried in the parade. Nate made police friends with one of the guards at the Emperor's Palace. We also made friends last night with a sweet couple who run a restaurant that serves very edible Japanese Cuisine. Apparently the brotherhood of the police spans across the world! He also made friends with a man who almost fell down the subway steps, but Nate's quick reaction time helped him regain his balance. He bought Nate a small bouqet of flowers as a thank you and gave it to us on the subway platform. This made it where Nate had a free bouquet of flowers to give to his wife for Mother's Day! We ended the day with good food and tired bodies! Oh, and I tried sushi! It was squishy and didn't taste like much so I don't really see the point in continuing a relationship with it! I'll stick with my cooked food. We had very tasty calamari, shrimp chips, a sauteed fish dish, and edemame!

A day of relaxation (sort of)

2009-05-09T04:35:00.010-04:00

Well our first full day in Japan has been a somewhat sedate one. For the first time in our marriage Meichell was up before me at 6AM (I think its because of the 13 hour time difference and her body was convinced that it was 7PM and her normal waking time). We were able to find a small coffee and croissant shop and watch the locals starting their day.
Then we found our way out to Isawa-onsen, closer to Mt Fuji, which is a hot spring resort area also known for wine making. Navigating the mass transit isn't all that tough. The only trouble we had was figuring out the fare rates.
We managed to find a nice little day onsen (bath house) that gave us a little family room that we could share (photo included). We also managed to find a nice little winery that let us do some tasting. Meichell found a white wine that she actually liked, I nearly fainted.
Meichell has solved her fears of Japanese cuisine and decided that noodles are the way to go. I'm relieved because now I don't have to either locate a McD's or hold back my knowledge of what she's eating until after she's had her first bite. I'm still working on convincing her to try sushi, so far no luck.
I think tomorrow we'll try the all day pass and hit the major areas of downtown Tokyo. Wish us luck. Enjoy the photos.

~Nate

We're in Tokyo, Japan!

2009-05-08T09:17:00.002-04:00

Hello blog followers! Nate and I made it safely into Tokyo, Japan at approximately 4pm May 8th! Nate is a great navigator and was able to get us to the train station and to our hotel! After getting a much needed shower to feel human again, we set out to get some food. This is where it gets amusing. I (Meichell) have this rule that I will not eat traditional American food while in a foreign country! I am even more strict about the eating of McDonald's. I do not eat it in America and have NEVER eaten it outside of the States! PROBLEM, Japanese food and I apparently are not good for each other. I don't have a super strong gag reflex and am generally able to try new things, usually finding something I like. The Japanese have a rule about using all parts of the animals they eat and it seems to me they use only the stuff I can't stomach. It was just some tongue, jowl (cheek of the pig), heart, liver, intestines, and other highly fatty body parts that weren't good. So I broke my number one rule after choking down some very untasty traditional Japanese food and stopped at McDonald's for a burger and fries on our way home from the restaurant so I didn't starve!

The trip over was uneventful and pretty stress free until we arrived in Tokyo where the Center for Disease Control here checked all of us for fevers, then finding a man that was sick on the flight, tagged Nate with a red dot that indicated he may have to be quarantined if the man was found to have Swine Flu! It turned out he just had a cold, but we have a red dot to put in Isaac's baby book so we can tell him how Daddy almost got stuck in Japan for a bit longer than planned!

Those are our amusing stories for the day! We'll be doing some site seeing in Japan till we leave on Monday for Korea, so there will be pictures at some point.

Our Itinerary

2009-05-06T13:36:00.004-04:00

Here is our Itinerary for those that want to be praying for us throughout out trip! The biggest prayer is for a smooth transition for Isaac and us into our new family! The highlighted one is for those of you that will be coming to the airport homecoming! I'll post it again near the end as a reminder and especially if anything changes!

Also, pray that nothing related to this Swine Flu effects us, our flights, or little Isaac!
We cannot wait to introduce our new family member to all of our extended family! You have each played a very important supportive role throughout this process! You know who you are and we are soooooo very grateful for you!
Love Nate and Chell

07MAY THU
AIR • American Airlines • Flight: 1115 confirmed in V • Seat: 16E/31E Depart: Norfolk, VA 705A Arrive: Dallas/Ft Worth, TX 925A

AIR • American Airlines • Flight: 2413 confirmed in V • Seat: 30E/31E Depart: Dallas/Ft Worth, TX 1010A Arrive: Los Angeles, CA 1130A

AIR • American Airlines • Flight: 169 confirmed in V • Seat: 24C/24E Depart: Los Angeles, CA 1225P Arrive: Tokyo Narita, Japan 08MAY FRI 400P

08MAY FRI
HOTEL DAI ICHI HOTEL ANNEX 1-5-2 UCHISAIWAI-CHO CHIYOD TOKYO 100 JP Voice: 81 3 35035611 Fax: 81 3 35010907

11MAY MON
AIR • Japan Airlines • Flight: 955 confirmed in V • Seat: 47A/47C Depart: Tokyo Narita, Japan 205P Arrive: Seoul, Korea 440P

15MAY FRI
AIR • United Airlines Inc • Flight: 882 confirmed in T • Seat: 37D/37F Depart: Seoul, Korea 1105A Arrive: Tokyo Narita, Japan 125P

AIR • American Airlines • Flight: 170 confirmed in V • Seat: 35E/35G Depart: Tokyo Narita, Japan 400P Arrive: Los Angeles, CA 1000A

AIR • American Airlines • Flight: 2440 confirmed in V • Seat: 27D/27F Depart: Los Angeles, CA 1200N Arrive: Dallas/Ft Worth, TX 500P

AIR • American Airlines • Flight: 1212 confirmed in V • Seat: 15E/16E Depart: Dallas/Ft Worth, TX 635P Arrive: Norfolk, VA 1025P

FINALLY!!! THE TIME HAS COME!!!

2009-04-29T13:37:00.003-04:00

Yep, that's right, it's official!! We leave next Thursday May 7th to bring our Isaac Tae Min home to his forever family!!!! We are making a pit stop in Tokyo, Japan for 2 days, last vacation before "Baby on Board". Then we will arrive in Seoul, Korea on Monday May 11, the day after Mother's Day :-). We will likely meet Isaac on Tuesday the 12th and travel home with him on Friday the 15th!

We could NOT be MOOORRREE exited! Rejoice with us! We are bringing Isaac home!!!!

Nursery Pictures

2009-04-24T12:36:00.007-04:00

Inside Isaac's Crib!! April, he is gonna love his Silly Friend!!

The Nursery!!!

Full toy box, 99% given as gifts by friends and family! Spoiled Kid!!

Blessing of God's provision and care!!

Changing table and Armoir

Wall hangings! Welcome to Pooh Corner!

Book shelf, already stocked for reading time and learning!

Had to have the Pooh rug, sooo cute!

Crib, given by his God Parents Liz and Austin! You guys are the BEST big brother and sister we could ask for!

Many Prayers Answered!!!

2009-04-16T21:05:00.002-04:00

Well, to start off, the prayer and fast was wonderful. It really helped to get us in the framework of feeling bonded with Isaac and relieved of grief from the loss of Josiah. I (Meichell) finally put some pictures of Isaac in picture frames around the house, started making lists of stuff to take with us, questions to ask his foster mother, and generally feeling very comfortable with the direction that this journey of adding to our family has taken us. God is GOOD and HE is FAITHFUL!!!

We are now expecting our travel call any day now. I spoke with the agency today and found that Isaac's paperwork is indeed in the final step of establishing his VISA to travel home with us! Our agency representative will be talking directly to the women in charge of visas tonight to check on the time frame that we should expect for our official approval to pack our bags, book our flights, and get on over to our son's birth country for the building of a family!!! Lets just say I CAN'T WAIT IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT!!!

God is teaching me a great deal about waiting on Him and NOT the event!!! So that my strength may be renewed and my focus pointed in the right direction.

Focusing on the last leg of this current journey!!

2009-04-03T13:25:00.002-04:00

I was so disappointed to hear from our agency the other day that they are not expecting us to get travel approval until early May. April, May. You may think what's the difference, you've waited this long, what's another few weeks. There's some truth in this, but there's also the part of every day that we miss him, we miss out on him. We miss his development. He grows an even stronger attachment to another woman, that will cause his grief to be that much greater when we come along and take him from her. I feel like I can't sit around and just wait! My friend Richelle suggested that for Good Friday, we gather friends and family together to fast and pray for Isaac's paperwork to be released, the the travel approval to be given by April 15, so that we can plan to be in Korea near the end of April. Ultimately I want the Lord's will no matter how long it takes, but He reminds us often that we have not because we do not ask. So, would you all join us in concentrated prayer on Good Friday for Isaac to be released to his forever family. We appreciate more than you each will ever know the support you have continued to provide us on this journey.

We got I-600 Approval

2009-02-27T18:37:00.002-05:00

We are just a step closer to Isaac. We received our I-600 approval from the USCIS yesterday in the mail. We also talked to our agency and they still expect us to travel somewhere between April 8-May 6. She did say that things had been a bit slow in Korea as of late due to change overs of those in charge, but that they hoped things would settle out and be caught back up in short order. We are still hoping of course to travel sooner rather than later. We'd really like to travel in early April and not have to wait until May. But, we will just be happy to get to go and bring Isaac home. His VISA physical has been completed. He still has a small ASD in his heart (a small hole). It is expected to heal itself but could require surgery at a later date if it does not. Please continue to pray for good health for him and that we get to travel soon. That's all the update we have for now.

Be NOT Afraid!!!!

2009-02-19T01:12:00.006-05:00

This is not an adoption update, but in the words of my friend Stephanie, I'm feeling the need to ramble a bit, so read the ramblings of my heart at your own risk.

I've been struggling with this one concept for going on 3 years consciously and 26 years unconsciously. FEAR! What is it? Why does is burden me so? Where does it come from? How does it have so much control of my heart, mind, and even my body? I have literally always been an anxious person. It is as if it is part of my DNA! I think it's part of the DNA of humanity, that is since the fall of man scripture talks about in Genesis. It makes sense that the sudden knowledge of good and evil that Adam and Eve obtained through their disobedience to God's plan for them would result ultimately in fear. It also explains why the command quoted most often in scripture from Genesis to Revelation is "Be NOT Afraid!!! The angels say it, God says it, Jesus says it. Over and over again we are commanded not to fear. Yet, we hold onto fear as if it is a best friend when it truth it is a toxic enemy to our mind, body, and spirits. I could give you an endless accounting of my fears from being attacked, losing my husband, something happening to my children, not having children, not being a good mother, being an ineffective counselor, to the fear of poverty. People say that you fear most what you do not know. There is some truth to this, but we also fear what we do know, or rather what we have known. I know what it is to have no money, little food. In high school I ate at school and at work. It was simply easier than my mom being able to always come up with money to get what we needed. I worked to help pay bills starting at 15. I worked multiple jobs at a time to get through college. Yet, I don't remember going hungry and I still fear poverty. Fear is disabling, crippling. It keeps us either stuck in the past or in dread of the possibilities of the future. NEVER, are we able to live truly in the moment when we are in FEAR. There's something else...Never are we able to stand in LOVE and in FEAR at the same time. So when we FEAR, we DO NOT LOVE. I am studying the book of Esther with a wonderful group of ladies at my church and the Beth Moore Esther series. Beth Moore discusses fear at length. You see, while I have been struggling with this idea of fear and getting rid of it for the past 3 years or so consciously, I have been unable to really grapple onto the bottom line for getting rid of fear. I know that scripture says "Perfect love casts out fear" in 1 John. But what does this mean from an "how do I do this standpoint?" Beth Moore talked about running the fear through completely filling in the blank "If _____________ happens then ____________? Until you are able to define every possible outcome of the negative or even positive thing that we fear. She goes on to say that at the end of this discussion with God, there can be only one biblical and truth based answer: "If _______________ happens then GOD WILL REMAIN THE GOOD AND TRUSTWORTHY GOD THAT HE IS." Because our circumstances do not change God's Character!!! So I finally have the answer to fighting the "What ifs? that have nagged my past, present, and threaten my future. No matter what happens in my life, has happened, is happening, or will happen, I AM the daughter of a King and the ONLY King that can turn mourning into dancing, weeping into laughter, pain into joy, and FEAR into LOVE. So next time we are together friends and you catch me in a fear state, you have my permission to remind me who I belong to and that every "what if" in my life will end with God working His plan and love into it till He conquers my FEAR with His LOVE.

Lyrics from Rob Thomas's "Little Wonders"

2009-02-14T00:58:00.002-05:00

let it go, let it roll right off your shoulder
don't you know the hardest part is over
let it in, let your clarity define you
in the end we will only just remember how it feels

our lives are made in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away, but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

let it slide, let your troubles fall behind
you let it shine until you feel it all around you
and i don't mind if it's me you need to turn to
we'll get by, it's the heart that really matters in the end

our lives are made in these small hours
these little wonders, these twists & turns of fate
time falls away, but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

all of my regret will wash away some how
but i can not forget the way i feel right now
in these small hours these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate these twists & turns of fate
time falls away but these small hours
these small hours, still remain, still remain

these little wonders these twists & turns of fate
time falls away but these small hours these little wonders still remain

Most Recent Update

2009-02-12T18:35:00.002-05:00

Our paperwork made it to Korea without a hitch. The approval has been processed and Isaac's documents were released so that we could file for I-600 approval to declare him as an immediate relative. The wait overall is still 10-14 weeks from January 28th. The average is 12 weeks. So we are down 2 weeks, roughly 10 weeks to go. They are currently working on filing for Isaac's passport and VISA to make him travel ready. As soon as this happens and our I-600 is approved, we will get our travel call. Nate and I are hoping to fly to Seoul, Korea by way of Tokyo, Japan so that we can see a bit of Japan while we are on that side of the world. I am getting so exited. We are going to put together a little care package for him. I will be sending a disposable camera so that his foster mom is able to take photos of him while we wait for him. This pregnancy is going much smoother and faster. We can't wait to finally say we are home with our little guy.

Paperwork Heading for Korea Today!!!

2009-01-28T14:11:00.003-05:00

Hello all,
As you know paperwork and I have long been enemies. Having to do and re-do document after document has been one of the more frustrating sides of adoption. Thankfully, Korea is significantly less fussy about it. We got our stack of paperwork on Thursday. I was unfortunately sick all day Thur, Fri, and part of Sat, so it sat on the kitchen table waiting for me to be able to NOT throw up on it. I figured better safe than sorry. We looked over and signed everything, got notarized what needed to be notarized on Monday. It arrived at the agency this morning and was sent to Korea this afternoon. Not a bad turn around if I do say so myself. Now we wait for it to arrive in Korea, the match approved, Isaac's documents to be sent to our agency and the I-600 to be filed. Then we wait a bit more for I-600 approval and we travel. From this point it is an average of 12 weeks. The countdown has begun. We're thinking we are gonna get a Spring baby. I'm starting to take a big sigh of relief. We can't wait to travel in Korea. I am told that it is a lovely country. I've only been in the airport some years back, but from what I could see it has lots of mountains and mountains are my favorite landscape, so I expect a trip full of beauty and many ways to honor my sons birth country as we collect things for him. Not to mention we will finally get to arrive home in our airport surrounded by friends and family as we bring our son home for good. Oh, what a happy day that will be. God has such a way of turning our ashes into beauty, our mourning into gladness, our anxiety into peace.

Introducing Isaac Tae Min

2009-01-16T16:49:00.003-05:00

We accepted a referral today from South Korea. We are so exited about this new addition to our family. He is 5 1/2 months old. We are expected to travel around 10-14 weeks after the acceptance paperwork is completed. So we are hoping to travel around late March, early April to bring this little guy home. Tae means "Great", Min means "Precious Stone". And we chose Isaac to be his first name to honor God's promise that we would be given a son. Isaac means "laughter" which as you can see from the below picture fits him perfectly. Thank you Lord for being so gracious to us and mending our hearts in preparation for Isaac!!!

We're Pregnant in Our Heart's Again

2008-12-03T22:52:00.006-05:00

This cartoon is a riot. There are three primary responses that we get when we discuss our decision to adopt. 1. Why aren't you adopting from the States? 2. Ah, you can't have your own children! 3. What an awesome option for adding to your family, I want to adopt someday. I just have to laugh at this point with all of the strong opinions people have about this subject. I never considered it as anything more that an awesome way to add to my family and to give a needy child a home. The idea of genetics never crossed my mind as the way to have "my own" children. I pretty much claim every child I love as mine, ask my friends. I also laugh at the idea that anyone would consider adoption without looking at all of the options, including domestic. People think that America is raining babies, quite the contrary. In fact, after we lost Josiah, we talked to our social worker about switching to domestic and she told us there simply aren't women placing their children for adoption. Between abortion, birth control pills, and the decision to be a single mom (all personal choices), there just aren't babies here available for adoption unless you know someone ahead of time. It's always amazing to me what people who have never adopted think they know about adoption. The saddest part, we have this idea that the only way to love a child is if we carry it ourselves. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to carry a baby in my belly for the experience of feeling them grow and starting from scratch. But belly's don't make mommies. With this philosophy, it means that women cannot love their husbands with all of their hearts because they are not genetically related and it means that daddy's cannot love their children every bit as much as his partner because he didn't carry the baby in his belly. As for being a foster parent, I think I have more experience in this option having been a foster child than anyone who has ever asked me why aren't we fostering children. We do want to foster children after we have raised our children most likely into their teens. Foster care is NOT for adoption. 90% of children in foster care will go back home to their bio family or another family member. Only 10% are available for adoption. Foster children need special care, care that we are not yet prepared to provide at our age and stage in our lives. But, as I explain this, the question begs to be asked of such questioners,"Why are you not fostering, you obviously have a desire in your heart that you are not meeting if you are concerned about me not fostering." Then I think about the real reason that we have made all of the choices that we have concerning adding to our family. It may sound like a cop out, but we do what we do "Because God said so." It's that simple, He says adopt, we adopt, He says overseas, that's where we go. If He told me tomorrow that I was to adopt from Catmandu, guess what that's where we'd be going. Honestly, if I found out tomorrow that I am physically pregnant, I would be overjoyed, but I am no less overjoyed to receive a photo of the child God has for our family. As I reflect on the deep love I still have for Josiah, a child I never held, I am looking forward to loving just as much the next child we will adopt as ours. I'm pregnant again. He isn't in my belly, but he is growing in my heart.

Starting the Paperwork Chase Again

2008-11-20T18:44:00.004-05:00

Good Evening to the 3 people who read my blog :-). We have met with our social worker here in VA. She is working very hard at redoing a home study for us in short order so that we can accept a referral and start the wait for travel. We have filed the necessary documents to update the USCIS that we are changing countries from Vietnam to Korea. Unfortunately, we had to redo our medicals, financial statements, and all of the background checks. The funny thing is, due to Nate and I's professions we are regularly checked for criminal activity. We've both been fingerprinted more than most people will ever need to be in their lifetimes just in the past two years. So don't you all worry, we won't be burglarizing anyone. We would definately get caught :-). I'm starting to warm up to the idea of this next step in our adoption process. I finished putting Josiah's baby book together, which helped me to put somewhat of a closing stamp on the situation surrounding losing him.

Back to Korea

2008-11-09T14:24:00.004-05:00

Many of those reading our blog may not know that we originally started with adopting from Korea. We switched to Vietnam when 1. the fees were significantly increased, 2. there was a countrywide push in Korea to promote domestic adoption, 3. they were implementing support for mothers that chose to parent their children rather than place them for adoption. None of these efforts have taken root yet, even after 2 years. This program has a standing and steady relationship with our agency for almost 40 years. The agency receives referrals almost weekly. The children are also very well taken care of in 1 to 1 foster homes (a better foster care program than the US provides). Why did we switch you ask? Partly because it was our understanding that there would be much fewer children available, partly because we couldn't afford the added fee, partly because our goal for adoption was to take a child out of an orphanage. Well, we have now come full circle and are going back to Korea to pursue an adoption from there. We are expected to have a referral by the end of the month. And travel is 10-14 weeks after that. So barring any complications, we will be pursuing an adoption of a little boy from Korea. The children are roughly 5 months old when they are referred and 8 months old when they are placed with their forever family. I'm always amused when we start out on one path, change courses, and still wind up on the original path. This two years was not for nothing though. We helped a mother be reunited with her son. We loved and lost, but we will always love that which was lost in our son Josiah. We are in a better position emotionally to provide for a child placed with us. We, as a couple are closer than ever, which will serve us well in parenting. We may never know all of the specifics of what this was all for, but I do know that whatever child is placed in our home, he or she was meant to be here or the journey would not be what it is.

What Next?

2008-11-05T22:54:00.003-05:00

Well, now that the shock has worn off from an adoption that has ended without bringing our son home, we are thinking what next? How will we grow our family? Even though my head knows there are no sure things, my heart believed this was going to end with a happy ending for us. I admit I did not expect to facilitate the reunion of my son with his biological mother. I'm still grieving of course, but the question begs to be answered "What Next?". So we've decided to basically open ourselves to all options. We will close the option of an adoption from Vietnam if we hear nothing from the USCIS and DIA allowing us to accept another referral by the end of the month. We are working with our local social worker on being added to her list of adoptive parents for a domestic adoption, and we are pursuing the option of getting pregnant biologically with the help of our doctor, a fertility specialist. You know we were all told as children never to put all of our eggs in one basket. Why don't we ever listen to the wisdom of those gone before? I have to say that I automatically assumed that because we felt called to adopt that this meant we would adopt all of our children, especially when I found out I may not be able to get pregnant. Doesn't seem like too big of a leap does it? May not be able to get pregnant, have always wanted to adopt, BINGO, we should adopt. I still believe there is at least one adopted child out there for us, but the other child. Well, that one may come in any number of ways. Maybe this was all God wanted, was for us to be open to all options. To want to parent a child enough to be open to whatever He has planned for Growing Our Family.

Our hearts are deeply saddened at this loss, but Josiah is not an orphan.

2008-10-21T18:23:00.004-04:00

Hello Friends and family,
It is with deep sadness at our loss, but grateful that the child we have loved for so long is no longer an orphan, but will not be coming home to us. His biological mother loves him very much and has chosen to take him home to raise. Please pray for her, him, and their family, that he will transition home smoothly and that he will have all of the life that God has designed for him. Please pray for us as we turn to the unknown of what next. We are trusting that God's plan is perfect. Though Josiah has not come home to us, he is no less our son. We have loved him and always will. Blessings to you little guy, WE LOVE YOU.
Your other set of loving parents,
Nate and Meichell

Update

2008-10-17T12:14:00.002-04:00

Hello Friends and Family,
The only update we received this week is that Josiah's birth mother has not come back to the care center since the October 4th meeting they had with her where she stated she wanted to reclaim him. She has not filed the paperwork to do so either. Sometime over this past week the care center we are told, sent out authorities to track her down again and encourage her to make a concrete decision. That's all we have for now, keep lifting her, him and us in your prayers. I know God will help her to make the best choice for him and we will find peace no matter what that choice is.

Good News and BAD NEWS!!!

2008-10-09T11:04:00.002-04:00

Well, the good news, WE GOT I-600 approval meaning we are cleared for travel by the USCIS. The bad news, we do not have Vietnam's final approval because Josiah's birth mother did not sign the paperwork for his relinquishment and is having second thoughts about doing so. Yep, we are officially in every adoptive parents nightmare, a birth mother that wants her son. The thing is, as heartbreaking as this is, and trust me, my heart is aching, I have to ask myself what is best for my son? Some people would say well, coming to America is best. This is a ridiculous comment. God's will is best, no matter how my heart might break. The only way this child will have the life designed for him is if I trust God to be sovereign and place this child in the family he is supposed to be in. If he comes here, then I will adore him and raise him. But my love will not change if he does not come home. He will always have a mother and father in the US that love him, that will pray for him and want the best things for him. I was telling my husband Nate today that if we hadn't chosen him to be ours, he would still be sitting in that care center and his mother would not have been found. So now he has two Mommy's and daddy's. Lucky kid!!! He went from having no parents to four. Do I want him to come home, of course, I could not make my desire any more known to God. But at the end of the day, I must say Your will be done, NOT mine. Love is never, always fighting for someone or always letting them go. Love is a combination of the two, sometimes we are to fight, sometimes we are to let go, but we are ALWAYS to trust Gods' will will be accomplished and hearts can be mended. Loss is part of life and is just as important a learning tool as love. All that said, please pray for God's sovereign will over our adoption of Josiah Vinh, that he would become part of a loving family no matter who that is.

GOOD NEWS!!!

2008-10-02T17:08:00.002-04:00

We heard from our agency today and were told that the orphanage representatives met with Josiah's biological mother this last Monday and that the meeting went well. She and her mother, Josiah's grandmother are scheduled to meet at the orphanage tomorrow, Friday (tonight our time) to sign the relinquishment paperwork. There is another step she has to do next week, but we should start moving along in our process again. We want to thank everyone for your prayers and support. We really could not have done this hard journey to our son without God's grace and the arms of those He placed here to help keep us standing. I'm still not sure I will completely feel safe from this process turning until we hold our little boy in our arms and pledge to Vietnam to love and cherish him always.

Pray!!! Pray!!! Pray!!!

2008-09-25T14:21:00.000-04:00

Hello all, we were contacted by our agency representative last night. In between the 2 notices that the DIA (don’t worry about the acronyms) provides to us finalizing our adoption for Vietnam, a field investigation is completed to see if the biological mother can be located. Well, they found her. She is still living in Ben Tre Province, is married with another child. She is required now, by Vietnamese law to file the necessary paperwork to Relinquish him, so that he is not considered abandoned, but voluntarily placed for adoption. This scenario could end in a few different ways: 1. she could want her baby back, heart breaking for us, but we wouldn’t want to take him if we knew she wanted him and could take care of him. 2. She could feel very ashamed of having abandoned him, may not have told her husband about him, and therefore could experience a great deal of shame, not to mention if she decides not to take him back, she has to give him up all over again, potentially heart breaking for her and her family. We would still get him, but the process is again extended and this could take some time. 3. She can still place him for adoption, but not desire that he be adopted out of country, an all loose situation unless there is a Vietnamese family that wants to adopt him. 4. Everything can still work out so that we get to bring him home, but next month is out without a miracle. We could also still receive a NOID from the USCIS, since, they also do a field investigation and have probably found her as well. A NOID ends the adoption, unless it can be overturned. They have been overturned in the past, but it is a difficult and extended time process. Either way, we are back in the realm of the unknown, where time is not our friend and there are no guarantees. We’ve asked the agency to advocate for us to the mother, that if she knows she cannot take him back, that there is a family that loves him and wants him, and is open to updating her throughout his life about how he is doing.
Please Pray, I don’t know what else to do. God is the only one that can make this nightmare end with a happy ending.
Nate and Meichell

October a good possibility for TRAVEL!!!!

2008-09-16T09:47:00.002-04:00

Good morning all, we have not yet received our I-600 approval, however, as long as there are no hiccups, our agency believes we will travel in October. It is so wonderful to be so close. The light at the end of the tunnel is getting bigger everyday. Please pray for speedy processing of the I-600. The earlier we get it, the earlier we get to travel. Nate has lots of leave time saved, so that will not be an issue, and of course I work from home and do contract work, so taking time off will be pretty easy for me. God is so good and faithful in taking care of our finances. People ask all the time about the expense of adoption and I just tell them, when you open your heart and home to take in one of His orphans, then the finances seem to miraculously take care of themselves. In fact throughout this process, finances have been the least of our worries. Our biggest worry came with the pending closing of Vietnam, which did come to fruition, so please when you think about us, also think about the many families that did not get to see their dream come to true. Pray for their wounded hearts to have peace. I know I would have been heart broken if we had lost Josiah.

I-600 Submitted and Received August 13

2008-09-02T19:22:00.003-04:00

Hello All, I just realized I forgot to post that our I-600 was submitted in the middle of last month. It will have been in the hands of the USCIS in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam for 21 days tomorrow. The estimated time it should take to get through this step is 45-60 days, sometimes longer if anything is found to be of concern in Josiah Vinh's documents. We are also simultaneously waiting for 2nd DIA notice from Vietnam (the final step for Vietnams approval) to come in approving us for travel. We still cannot travel until we get USCIS approval, but as soon as both steps are completed, we will be heading to Vietnam and be united with our son. We are of course so very exited to be getting closer to bringing our son home. Sadly as of yesterday September 1st, the MOU, Memorandum of Understanding between Vietnam and the US has expired and a temporary one has not been put into place, causing countless family's adoptions from Vietnam to fall through. This does not apply to our case since we have an official match, but my heart goes out to those hearts that have been broken by this news.

People ask me all the time when is Josiah coming home, is the adoption a definite thing? It makes you start thinking about the "sure things" in this life. The fact is, unless you are a person of faith, there are no sure things and if you are a person of faith the ONLY sure thing is God's presence and love in every situation. I'm amazed at how many people do not adopt because of a desire for a "sure thing" when statistically a 1/3 of pregnancies end in miscarriage. Then there are all of the children that become ill or have disabilities, or husbands/wives that become ill, or die from other causes. We lost a police officer in our precinct the other day. He left behind a wife and two young sons. I don't want this to sound morbid in any way or even depressing, but there are NO "sure things" save God's presence and love in all situations. Don't let a false sense of security in your ability to control your life circumstances keep you from taking the journey to accept a child who needs a home into your home, life, and heart. It is a great journey whether successful or utter heartbreak, it ALL serves a purpose to grow us into better human beings. My goal in life is to be a better daughter of God TODAY than I was yesterday. Sometimes I succeed, many more times I fail, but I ALWAYS learn.

Wonderful News At Last!!!

2008-07-24T14:08:00.002-04:00

I could scream for joy and I'm sure you all would hear me. We got our 1st DIA notice, after 8 long months of waiting for a 2-3 week step, WE GOT IT!!!. This officiates our referral to Josiah and even if we do not get to travel to get him before September 1st when the country closes to all those who have not made it through this step, we will still get to go and get him!!!! I am still praying for all of those parents that are waiting for this step and for those that will not be able to get it. I know it would have been heart breaking for us to have lost Josiah so my heart is with those still waiting for good news. We now have to wait for the I-600 paperwork to be filed with the USCIS and for approval from them to be able to travel. Keep praying for smooth processing and no issues with his paperwork by the USCIS.
So thankful and grateful to all those praying our little one home,
Meichell and Nate

Thought for the Day

2008-07-15T10:43:00.004-04:00

A friend sent this to me and it got me to thinking:

"If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it. He sends you flowers every spring. He sends you a sunrise every morning. Face it, friend - He is crazy about you! God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way. Read this line very slowly and let it sink in...If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it."

Having been through various types of pain, from physical, sexual, verbal abuse, to lost loved ones, and sitting with others while they experience their pain (I'm a counselor), I see pain differently than some others do. I see it as a tool to bring about change, to bring humility, and to make the good times feel more like great times, which helps us to remember them better. Author and scholar C.S. Lewis says that pain is God's "megaphone to rouse a deaf world." I think that sometimes we are so focused on the "Why" and not nearly focused enough of the "What". "Why" something is happening is not nearly as important as "What is the pain for?" What am I supposed to be learning from this?" "What am I supposed to teach others as a result of my pain?" "What is God trying to do in me, help me understand, teach me?" I don't believe that God is upset with us when we ask why, as He knows better than we that this question is part of our being human, being our Creator after all, but I think He gets exited when we start asking "What". Because it means we are opening up our wounds and saying ok, God do your great work in me. "What" is our invitation to allow God to move on our behalf, to teach us, mold us. We become moldible clay in the palm of the Great Artist. If you know that God adores you, desperately loves you, then the question to ask is not "Why" but "What." If you don't know yet how dearly loved you are by God, the "Why" is more appropriate, but still not "Why" is this happening. You should be asking Him "Why do you love me, reveal this great mystery to me, help me to see you all around me, to see and begin to fathom the great love you have for me, so that I can start asking "What" and be able to move through pain and be all of the greatness You have planned for my life regardless of any amount of pain.

Desire for the Positive, Feeling the Negative

2008-06-06T22:16:00.003-04:00

Hi all,
For those wondering about me not really posting much lately, I want this site to be something Josiah can read and see all of the joy it was to work to bring him home. Instead, all I feel is fear, fear this won't go through, fear his age will cause him to be terrified when we come to get him (he'll be 2 in November). For those that don't know attachment and trauma are my specialties in the counseling field. Yet I fear my love for him and knowledge of attachment issues won't be enough to help him heal from an already traumatic beginning to his short life thus far. I'm using the word fear a lot because in the midst of all of my fear, God seems to speak the loudest, reminding me to not fear, that no weapon formed against me or my son shall prosper, that perfect love casts out fear, that his grace is sufficient, that the awesome thing about knowing the God of the universe is that he can whisper sweet nothings from my heart to my son's, that distance is the only thing that separates us and God's Spirit spans all distance. So, Josiah, if you read this one day and feel any sadness that this process was hard for your mom and dad, it was only hard because we wanted you so desperately, loved you so deeply, that we were willing to jump through any paperwork hoop, answer any personal question about our lives, how we would raise you, how we were raised, what kind of people we are and want to be, willing to pay any dollar amount as a ransom to get the chance to parent you. You are just that special and that worth it. Every labor pain, every emotional scar. I may not have body scars to prove I love you, but oh, if you could see my heart, and count the tears that fell from my eyes while I waited and prayed for my son. While some women get the joy of carrying their children under their hearts for 9 months and a few hours of physical labor pains, I have thus far carried you in my heart for nearly 1 year and 7 months, plus I've wanted to adopt since I was a teen, so you have been planned for and wanted for so very long. I can't wait to hold you, to put smiles on that chunky face and teach you all about the wonders of heaven and earth. No matter what happens in your life my son, I will always carry you in my heart and love you as if you were bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. God made you to be a part of this family. Hang in there just a little while longer, we're coming to get you soon. We love you!!!

Some News at last!!!

2008-06-03T08:51:00.006-04:00

Sorry for those interested that I haven't written lately. The fact is I haven't had anything positive concerning the adoption to write about. May 16th Josiah turned 18 months old and we still did not have our 1st DIA notice. I finally got some news from our agency representatives yesterday that the Homestudy Addendum, sent to Vietnam in January had not been copied and sent to the care center, so that the care center could officiate their approval of the match. Why it has taken 4 months for them to find this mistake, I cannot tell you, but I am very glad they have discovered it. We should be receiving 1st DIA anytime now, though I'm not sure I will believe that until I get the official word as we have been going to receive this oh so important step for 5 months or so. We did receive lots of new pictures which I am thrilled about on one hand, yet saddened as I watch my child grow up in pictures, instead of in my arms. On a very happy note, Nate and I went ahead and took a much needed vacation to Alaska to visit my sister in law and her husband. They are wonderful siblings to have and we were so grateful for there generosity in giving us free airline tickets and a much needed getaway before we become full time parents. Here are some examples of what Alaska is like:

Isn't that just the most beautiful picture. I love the mountains. I feel God's power and artistry when I am in the mountains in an unexplainable way.

Yep, those are Orcas, (Killer Whales). We saw all of the wonderful sea life Seward Alaska had to offer, 3 different kinds of whales, sea otters, sea lions, black bears, mountain goats, bald eagles in the wild, and of course moose.

Here is Nate and I with a glacier behind us.

Moose, Moose, Moose!!! We saw one our first day, and a couple after that, but never had the camera handy, so on our last day, Nate was on the look out and here was this guy, hanging out in a neighborhood, munching on some bushes.

Adoption Corruption in Vietnam

2008-04-27T12:47:00.003-04:00

Unfortunately, the USCIS has found evidence that there have been many corruptions occurring on the Vietnam adoption front. This is causing delaying in the processing of infant visas of Vietnamese orphans (maybe orphan, maybe not) to be completed so that they can be united with the parents who are choosing to adopt them. Please continue to pray for Josiah. We have no way of knowing how this will effect our adoption of him.

One of the stories presented talks about infants being taken to the hospitals when they are ill and due to the parents not being able to afford to pay the bill, they are not permitted to take their child home and the child is then taken to an orphanage and placed for adoption. This particular possibility weighs heavy on my heart as Josiah's paperwork states he was abandoned at a hospital. Please pray for him, that God's will be done with his life. If there is a mother that mourns the loss of her son under any unethical circumstances, I would desire that he be reunited with her as much as it would break my heart to not get to bring him into our family. Please pray for Vietnam, that honesty would reign and truth prevail over the adoption programs there. I've included a link to an article outlining what is coming from US investigations into adoptions from Vietnam. Thank you for your continued support and encouragement.
Meichell and Nathaniel

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/26/world/asia/26vietnam.html?ex=1366948800&en=f2d64680947bbd8f&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink

Here's the report directly from the USCIS
http://vietnam.usembassy.gov/irreg_adoptions042508.html

Frustrations with Red Tape

2008-04-08T09:11:00.007-04:00

Hello All,

Just wanted to let you know what is currently going on in Vietnamese adoptions. Due to some concerns over lack of paperwork follow through which leads to concerns over whether a child placed for adoption is legally an orphan, the US and Vietnam will not be renewing the MOU (Memorandum of Understanding) come September 1st of this year unless an agreement can be reached as to a universal way of processing adoptions in Vietnam to US citizens. This has caused other actions to be put into place. The I-600s are now taking 2-3 months to process (used to take 2-3 weeks) and the latest requirement that abandoned children be tested for DNA match with their biological parents (may not be able to be found). This is a difficult blow for adoptive parents to swallow. There is so much more to it than what I have the patience of typing. I just want you all to have the basics, so that you can pray that Josiah's paperwork goes smoothly from here on. We have been waiting for 1st DIA notice now for almost 5 months, something that should have been completed within a couple of weeks. This holds us up on filing for the I-600 (a 2-3 month process by itself) then 2nd DIA notice, approval for travel and travel. So realistically, unless a miracle occurs (which I believe in), we are looking at another 3-6 months before we can bring Josiah home. He will be 17 months on the 16th of April, so we are anxious to get him home and begin the bonding/attachment process with him. Please continue to pray for all Vietnam adoptions. I estimate that there are roughly 2-3 thousand adoptions in process (maybe much more) all being filed through one location in Vietnam.

Here is the latest photo we have of Josiah Vinh. I am so glad to see him standing, though I have yet to see a smile on that perfect face.

2008-03-26T10:33:00.002-04:00

Hi all, please take a look at these words of wisdom I found on another parents blog about how to approach forever families (made through adoption) with sensitivity. I have received negative comments surrounding our adoption, though there has been more positive than negative. I have been asked or told many times:

How much will he cost? My answer, "He is priceless".
Do you have your own? "He is my own, do I have biological children, not yet."
Don't you want your own? "He is my own, do I want biological children, I will take and love children however God chooses to add them to my family."
Why can't you have your own? "My fertility is no ones business but the man I married."
You should be adopting from the US, not overseas!!! There's plenty of children here to adopt!!!
"How can I adopt from the US when my son was born in Vietnam?" And it is a myth that there are so many children to adopt in the US. There are about 1 million children placed in foster care in the US every year, but only 10% of them are eligible for adoption. I work with foster care children and we even intend on being foster parents at some point, but unless you are adopting from the US or are a foster parent, you should never ask this question, it really is not anyone's business and unless you are doing what you are asking me to do, you have no place in asking it of me. PS, I was a foster child. There are 144 million orphans in the world compared to about 100,000 in the US.
Why aren't you adopting from the US? "Because Josiah was born in Vietnam."
Pregnancy is such a blessing you are missing out on. (this one, by the way takes the cake for most insulting to me personally, as if the only way to parent is through birth and the fact that I am having fertility issues makes me defective as a woman, do we really still believe this?)

I want to adopt because God has placed this desire in my heart since I was a foster child myself. He has been faithful to loving me as his adopted daughter, why should I not offer that same love to a child without a forever family? Forever families could turn your questions around on you and when you ask why are you adopting, we could ask "why are you NOT adopting?" If everyone opened there heart to take in one child needing a family, there there would be no orphans.

Accepting and Loving our Family formed through Adoption
May 27, 2007 by Alice
When you start going through the process of adoption as a parent, you are put through a good amount of education about adoption. In addition to learning about the process, you learn a new lingo, think about issues of multicultural families, discover a new community of people, receive information on the truths about orphanage life, and are generally forced to delve into what it means to be a family formed through adoption. However, your friends, family, and the public at large have not been through the same education or thought processes. So, this can lead to some hurt feelings and misunderstandings. Basically, if you would like to accept and love our family, please let me show you a bit about what we have learned.
Use Positive Adoption Languagehttp://www.adopting.org/article5.html
Choose the following positive adoption language instead of the negative talk that helps perpetuate the myth that adoption is second best. By using positive adoption language, you’ll reflect the true nature of adoption, free of innuendo.

Positive language Vs Negative language

Birthparent Vs. Real parent
Biological parent Vs. Natural parent
Birth child Vs. Own child
My child Vs. Adopted child; Own child
Born to unmarried parents Vs. Illegitimate
Terminate parental rights Vs. Give up
Make an adoption plan Vs. Give away
To parent Vs. To keep
Waiting child Vs. Adoptable child; Available child
Biological father Vs. Begettor
Making contact with Vs. Reunion
Parent Vs. Adoptive parent
International adoption Vs. Foreign adoption
Adoption triad Vs. Adoption triangle
Permission to sign a release Vs. Disclosure
Search Vs. Track down parents
Child placed for adoption Vs. An unwanted child
Court termination Vs. Child taken away
Child with special needs Vs. Handicapped child
Child from abroad Vs. Foreign child
Was adopted Vs. Is adopted

Use sensitivity when asking questions and making comments. A good rule of thumb is to ask questions for which you really want the answers, and don’t ask the ones that are simply nosy. Honestly, I haven’t come across a question yet that has been asked in a way that seemed simply nosy. All of the questions that I have received from friends, family, and coworkers have been fairly genuine. These folks actually just want to know how things are going with our adoption. I have a feeling that this will probably change very soon (basically, as soon as random strangers can see our family walking around the grocery store), but here are some questions and comments that should be considered before they pop out of one’s mouth.
http://www.saferchild.org/whatnot.htm
- Please DON’T ask if I have children of my own or plan to have children of my own. My child IS my own. You can ask me about biological children if you wish. As of yet, we do not have any biological children.
- Please DON’T ask about my child’s birth family. This is like asking about my child’s conception; It is a very personal issue.
- Please DON’T make disparaging remarks about my child’s country of origin, regardless of how you feel about their customs or government policies. My child needs to hear positive things about his/her culture of origin.
- Please DON’T ask how much my child “cost.” This is like asking someone without insurance how much their hospital bills were when their child was delivered. I did not “buy” my child through adoption fees any more than a family who pays hospital bills for the birth of a biological child has bought theirs. I just paid for the process of being matched with a child who needs a family to be facilitated. Just like childbirth, while the odds are that we will have a healthy child, there is no guarantee that we will end up with a baby at all. Besides, I don’t like to discuss money much… I will probably just say “Adoption is expensive” and leave it at that.
- Please DON’T tell me I had my child the “easy way.” Adoption has its own unique challenges. Like any parent, adoptive parents consider their struggles worthwhile, given the end result. However, adoption, like childbirth, can be both wonderful and difficult.
- Please DON’T ask me about my fertility status. I would rather not discuss it with a stranger.
Have Reasonable Expectations of My Child and Our Family
Since we are adopting a human child, our child will not be perfect.
Since we are new parents who are human, we will most definately not be perfect parents.
We will be as lucky to be parents as any parents are who have a child. Our child will be as lucky a child as any child who has parents. While our family may be a bit different from a strictly biological family, it isn’t particularly special.
Our child, with any luck, after living in an orphange for several months, will bond to us over the course of a few months, just like a newborn would. Therefore, we will most likely lose sleep by answering baby cries in the middle of the night, and, as our child get older, our rules will be tested by our child’s behavior, and we will be exhausted like new parents should be, and we will show too many baby pictures, and we will make you listen to our goofy stories about how the baby did the cutest thing last night… adoptive or not, we are new parents going through a lot of the same things that other new parents go through.
Unlike a biological family, we have NO IDEA when the baby will arrive. We are on the waiting list. When a child has been matched with us, we will receive a referral picture and information. We have NO IDEA when this will happen. We can GUESS sometime in the next 6-12 months. But, really, we have NO IDEA. Once we accept the referral, ideally, we will travel 2 to 3 months later. Again, we have NO IDEA exactly when we will travel. About 2 to 3 weeks before we travel, we should have travel dates. At that time, I will do my best to inform everyone who needs to know. However, even at this stage, the dates may or may not change. Ideally, we will spend 2 or 3 weeks in Vietnam with our child. Again, there are no guarantees. Finally, we will be safe and sound at home. Then life can be more predictable… at least as predictable as life with a young child can be.

Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, but still miraculously my own. Don't forget for even a minute, you grew not under my heart, but in it!!!

2008-03-05T22:27:00.003-05:00

Look How Big Our Little Man is Getting
Look, Our Baby's Got Talent, Gymnasics School, here we come!!! He's not walking yet, but he does the splits pretty well.

This is an older picture from July 2007, taken by another adoptive parent when she was there to get her child.

Latest Update

2008-02-25T12:46:00.003-05:00

Here are the measurements for Josiah for January 08.

Weight: 8.5 kg = 18.7 lb
Length: 76 cm = 29.9 in
Head Circumference: 46 cm = 18.1 in
Chest Circumference: 48 cm = 18.8 in
Bicep Circumference: 12 cm = 4.7 in

I have been talking to the agency. There has been some confusion in Vietnam about our dossier and it was only just officially linked to Josiah. I'm not really sure about all of the details and I'm not into being negative with the agency. There seems to be much going on in relation to the agency, Vietnam regulations, and new USCIS regulations. I'm just riding the wave, praying for peace and knowing that God has this covered. Please continue to prayer for our son, that his hernia would not be hurting him and that his nannies would love and care for him as though he were their own until his mom and dad can bring him home. We should be getting new pictures soon.

Update

2008-01-19T00:00:00.000-05:00

Hello all, just wanted to send out an update on our journey. Our updated home study just left the US today with a representative from our agency to be hand delivered in Vietnam. We also received measurements of Josiah from December 2007. They are as follows:

Weight: 8.3 kg = 18.3 lb
Length: 71 cm = 27.9 in
Head Circumference: 45 cm = 17.7 in
Chest Circumference: 48 cm = 18.9 in
Bicep Circumference: 12 cm = 4.7 in

He seems to be gaining weight, though would be considered a little under by American standards. I also remind myself that he is of Asian desent and therefore, may just be smaller than the average American baby. He looks healthy though and that is wonderful. We do not have a good estimate of time of travel yet. I'm still praying for February, but that is quickly approaching and would be an act of God to pull off. He is capable if He so desires. I went to a women's mini conference today and it was wonderful to sit and fellowship with my fellow Meimingers. For those of you who do not know about Mei Ming. It is an orphan and adoption ministry group Nate and I are a part of . This has been an invaluable source of comfort, encouragement, and all around support through our Journey to Josiah. We welcomed a new little one home just this past Wednesday. We are finally adding some boys to the group. It is such a wonderful feeling of birth when a new child comes home with their forever family and we get to share in that. I find the mother's heart within me growing larger and more in love with my little Josiah everyday. I imagine all of the things I get to teach him, how I will hold him, be the one to wipe away tears, create giggles, teach him of the Savior who so desperately loves him. What a blessing it is to be pregnant in my heart. I think it is kind of funny and sad when others do not see the absolute miracle that is adoption. It's like I know this secret place in God's heart that is the love of his orphaned children that others seem to not even notice. So many people feel feel I am missing out on the miracle of biological pregnancy and birth, but I feel they are the ones missing out. Sure carrying a child is this great miracle, but ohhh the miracle of adoption. People often feel pity when they think someone cannot have a biological child, I feel such pity when someone cannot have the miracle of adoption. I just think, wow what a blessing they are missing out on and they have no idea. So for those that would even consider adoption as an option and are experiencing fears that it won't feel the same as the miracle of birth. It soooo does. I can wholeheartedly say that my son was born in Vietnam and yet he is all mine. My heart new him and made him my very own upon the first glance. If that isn't the miracle of birth, I don't know what is. He is as much a part of my body and soul as the air I breathe.

Mommy, Daddy, Come Get Me!!!

2007-12-21T15:05:00.000-05:00

A picture I did not even realize I had, sent with some older pictures. It is from September 2007

Pictures as of December 12, 2007

2007-12-18T21:42:00.000-05:00

2007-12-18T21:13:00.000-05:00

New pictures of Josiah Vinh. Wow has he grown. He has also fattened up a bit. These were taken just a week ago by one of our agency representatives at the Ben Tre Orphange in Vietnam. We have been logged in since the day before his 1st birthday Nov 15, 2007, which coincidentally is the same day we accepted him as ours. I love coincidences. He does take priority for moving his adoption along because of his special needs designation, However it will still be sometime early next year, hopefully and prayerfully. I can't wait to put many smiles on that chunky face.

Registered

2007-12-14T23:19:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I had noooo idea how much fun it would be to register for what we need for Josiah. We registered at Target and Babies R Us for those of you interested. It was so much fun dreaming up what his nursery is going to look like and all that he will need. Plus, it's like shopping without spending any money, how awesome is that? We are really wanting him home. Christmas will be sooo much more fun when there is a little one to surprise on Christmas morning and to tell the greatest CHRISTmas story ever. Hope all are getting ready for a blessed Christmas. The new year will be bringing many babies home to their forever families, including our little one.

Families are Created By LOVE, not genetics.

2007-12-02T15:40:00.001-05:00

Orphan: Children deprived of parents.
Adoption: The legal act of investing with sonship.
Pregnant: To bring forth life. Conceived in Our Hearts.

This is pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father, to visit (take care of) the orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world. James 1:27

You shall not pervert the justice due an alien or an orpan...Deuteronomy 24:17

When you gather the grapes of your vineyard, you shall not go over it again; it shall be for the alien, for the orpan, and for the widow. Deuteronomy 24:22

Because I delivered the poor who cried for help, And the orpan who had no helper, the blessing of the one ready to perish came upon me. Job 29:12-13

Jesus: I will not leave you as orpans, I will come to you. John 14:18

Photos of Josiah Vinh along the way

2007-12-02T00:50:00.001-05:00

Big eyes, Chubby cheeks, fuzzy head, Can I get any cuter?

Sleeping like the Angel I am

Chillin in my first lazy boy bouncy chair

Ooooh, I found something to look at

Drooling

Josiah Vinh Worthing

2007-12-02T00:24:00.000-05:00

It's been about a year now that we have been in the process and referral, much less gotcha day NOWHERE in sight. I keep scanning the WIC list looking for my son, just in case that's where I might find him. I come across the most beautiful chunky faced infant. I fall instantly, head over hills, eyes tearing, the whole bit, that's my Josiah. I immediately inquire about him before even showing his picture to dad. He has a hernia and exposure to some things, ok, can we handle this. I research, research, research, and come up with, well there could be potential for future issues, do we take the risk? I show his picture finally to dad and receive his medical report from the agency. I immediately email it to a dear doctor friend, also an adoptive parent and part of Meiming Adoption and Orphan Ministries. Here's a shout out to Judy, thank you. She calmed my fears and said he really looks pretty well off. I emailed the agency and staked claim on my son. It's so awing to me how my heart could just know he belongs in this family. I was so sure, I sent his picture to everyone. A week later on November 15, 2007, we signed our referral acceptance paperwork. And on November 16, 2007, we lit a single candle and sang happy birthday to our 1 year old son, saying a prayer of comfort and safety over him as he waits for mom and dad to come and bring him home.

2007-12-01T23:58:00.000-05:00

Overview of Our Journey

First of all, I (mom) have wanted to adopt children since I was about 14 years old. I always saw myself surrounded by children from all over the world. I wanted one from every continent, every race, a beautiful, colorful collection and example of how love creates families, not genetics or skin color. This desire was repeatedly confirmed to me more of a calling than just some young girl's daydreaming. I had the opportunity to travel to three different continents in about a year's time when I was studying Psychology in undergrad, Europe, Asia, Africa. While in China I learned of the desperate situation of baby girls unable to stay with the families that love them due to population regulation laws. I stand in no judgement, but I did feel that these little girls deserve homes none the less. I was in a dress shop having a formal Chinese gown made for me. Unfortunately, I can say hello and thank you, that's about it, so we needed a translator. A beautiful young woman translated for myself and the dress shop owner. Then she asked if she could show me something, a hole in the wall art gallery, with walls covered in gorgeous Chinese paintings on rice paper and silk. My eyes immediately fell on a painting of a beautiful Chinese baby girl. I bought it on the spot and she is my constant reminder that not only would I adopt, but I will one day adopt from China. Years pass and I fall in love with a most giving man, who, by God's grace also feels a deep desire to adopt children. Many ask us, don't you want your own. Our simple reply, However we are blessed with children, they ARE OUR OWN. To our dismay, China has an age rule preventing us from adopting until I turn 30, so we started looking at other countries, including the States for adopting before we adopt from China. Through various steps and much research, we finally, prayerfully settle on Vietnam. It's south of China, the children are in orphanages (we felt led to adopt out of orphanages),has some similar cultural heritage and Vietnam has the opposite problem of China, too many boys. I new my first son's name would be Josiah, so we began Our Journey to Josiah in October 2006.